I just so happen to have gone to a university that almost
always makes an appearance on the yearly Top Ten Party School list. So, you can
imagine my confusion about the fact that I have been invited to more parties in
the last few years than I was in my entire college career.
Now, let me start by saying that I am not really a social
butterfly. So, you might be confused by my adulthood popularity. Let me put
your confusion to rest. The parties that I have been invited to are not the “keg-stand-dance-until-
4am-wake-up-in-a-frat-house- with-lipstick-smeared-on-your-head” kind of
parties. The parties (and I use the word “party” very lightly) I have been
invited to are, in my opinion, quite ridiculous.
Here is a list of just a few of
the invites I have received: Pampered
Chef Food Extravaganza, Origami Owl Jewelry Party, Scentsy Candle Party,
Princess House Kitchenware Party, Jamberry Nail Party, 3D Eyelash Party and, of
course, the “Bad Girl” Sex Toy Party.
I honestly would love to wave my “you go girl” flag high in
support of the women who host these parties. But the truth is that, for
countless reasons, I despise everything that goes along with this type of get
together. First and foremost, I am introvert, hear me roar! The last thing on
Earth I would ever want to be is stuck in a room full of unfamiliar women
talking about a product I simply don’t give a shit about.
Secondly, when did a woman’s idea of a “party” turn into having
friends and family sit in her home for a demonstration which will reveal
something that each and every person in that room will feel obligated to buy? Not
to mention, since most of these items are almost always severely overpriced, do
these hosts really feel good about guilting people they care about into buying
something they can probably get on Amazon for half the price? In my
opinion, these “parties” are better suited for enemies, rather than friends.
Which brings me to my final point- the word “party” should
be given some respect. I realize that I’m an adult now, and keg stands are no
longer to be expected at any event that requires an RSVP. However, if you
really wanted to host a “party”, can’t it be done without hinting to your
guests that they should bring their credit cards? In case it has been
forgotten, parties are times of celebration, times to feel unencumbered, to relax
and let your guard down. Parties are not the time to worry if you will bounce a
check for buying an ugly fifty dollar candle so your acquaintance (aka party
host) won’t unfriend you on Facebook.
With that said, if you still feel the absolute need to
convert the personal gesture of a party invite into a business transaction,
please don’t be offended when I try to inject a little bit of fun into your
party by bringing my own beer pong table and announcing that the loser has to
buy something from your catalog. You see, a small bit of the party girl in me
still exists. And she doesn’t need Tupperware to have a good time.
*This piece was published on BLUNTmoms on February 10, 2016.
