Wednesday, February 10, 2016

The New Type of "Party"

I just so happen to have gone to a university that almost always makes an appearance on the yearly Top Ten Party School list. So, you can imagine my confusion about the fact that I have been invited to more parties in the last few years than I was in my entire college career. 

Now, let me start by saying that I am not really a social butterfly. So, you might be confused by my adulthood popularity. Let me put your confusion to rest. The parties that I have been invited to are not the “keg-stand-dance-until- 4am-wake-up-in-a-frat-house- with-lipstick-smeared-on-your-head” kind of parties. The parties (and I use the word “party” very lightly) I have been invited to are, in my opinion, quite ridiculous. 

Here is a list of just a few of the invites I have received:  Pampered Chef Food Extravaganza, Origami Owl Jewelry Party, Scentsy Candle Party, Princess House Kitchenware Party, Jamberry Nail Party, 3D Eyelash Party and, of course, the “Bad Girl” Sex Toy Party. 

I honestly would love to wave my “you go girl” flag high in support of the women who host these parties. But the truth is that, for countless reasons, I despise everything that goes along with this type of get together. First and foremost, I am introvert, hear me roar! The last thing on Earth I would ever want to be is stuck in a room full of unfamiliar women talking about a product I simply don’t give a shit about.

Secondly, when did a woman’s idea of a “party” turn into having friends and family sit in her home for a demonstration which will reveal something that each and every person in that room will feel obligated to buy? Not to mention, since most of these items are almost always severely overpriced, do these hosts really feel good about guilting people they care about into buying something they can probably get on Amazon for half the price? In my opinion, these “parties” are better suited for enemies, rather than friends.

Which brings me to my final point- the word “party” should be given some respect. I realize that I’m an adult now, and keg stands are no longer to be expected at any event that requires an RSVP. However, if you really wanted to host a “party”, can’t it be done without hinting to your guests that they should bring their credit cards? In case it has been forgotten, parties are times of celebration, times to feel unencumbered, to relax and let your guard down. Parties are not the time to worry if you will bounce a check for buying an ugly fifty dollar candle so your acquaintance (aka party host) won’t unfriend you on Facebook. 

With that said, if you still feel the absolute need to convert the personal gesture of a party invite into a business transaction, please don’t be offended when I try to inject a little bit of fun into your party by bringing my own beer pong table and announcing that the loser has to buy something from your catalog. You see, a small bit of the party girl in me still exists. And she doesn’t need Tupperware to have a good time.

*This piece was published on BLUNTmoms on February 10, 2016.