Spending most of my life only minutes from Manhattan has
really shaped who I am as a person. I
absolutely love who I have become as a result of my environment. I am confident, bold and really don’t care
what people think about me. However, it has been brought to my attention that
due to the cultural differences between where I come from and where I now live,
people here in Florida may not fully understand or appreciate my tactlessness
when it comes to speaking my mind. Most people
from my neck of the woods are blunt, honest and direct, and if you are
extremely lucky, we will give you a “blink-and-you’ll-miss-it” dose of sensitivity.
Here are a few examples for your enjoyment.
- When you have broccoli in your teeth, we are going to tell you. And instead of sounding sweet, it might sound something like this, “Go check a mirror and get that shit out of your teeth.”
- When my cousin doesn’t want to talk to me anymore on the phone, he doesn’t make excuses. He just stops, sometimes mid conversation, and says, “Yeah, I’m done. I’ll talk to you next time.”
- My old boss used to love having me around because when we were done with a long day and someone wanted to get an after-work cocktail, instead of coming up with fake reasons why I couldn’t, I just said, “Nope. No thanks. I just spent ten hours with you. I’m good.”
And the best part about being from this area is that no one gets
offended by abrupt truths! It’s just the
way it is. As long as you are honest,
regardless of your tone, people respect you.
Growing up, my friends and family always told me the truth, rather than sculpting
words into something nicer, but further from what I actually needed to hear. I
didn’t have any friends who kissed my ass.
And to this day, I am thankful for that.
But now that I no longer live in a tough as nails
environment, it hasn’t occurred to me to try to adapt. I am what people would describe as a hard
person. Not much affects me in a
significant way. Sympathy and empathy do
not come easy for me. I’m not affected
by what people think of me. When someone
doesn’t like me, their words, however vicious, simply have no meaning to me. Now, I do have my version of kryptonite, but no
one has ever guessed correctly on what it may be.
Why am I telling you all of this? Because being a hard person in a softer
environment is not an easy merger. When
I first moved here, I felt like I was trying to decipher the DaVinci code when
it came to meeting new people. Why do
they smile so much? Are they really that
interested in my life or are they just being nice? Their tone sounds too upbeat-are they telling
me the truth? Do I have broccoli in my
teeth?
Over time, I have come to admire the differences in the
people I have met here. Luckily for me,
I have found some really wonderful people who are just the right mix of sweet
and blunt. These people make me believe
that I am capable of obtaining a better balance with regard to my extreme
personality traits. Although I waver
back and forth like a seesaw on whether or not Florida is the right place for
me, they have made it easier to adapt. You
see, I’ve learned that people from the south have something that my northern
brethren simply don’t have-and that is, patience.
My reality is that I’m
not going to morph into a softer person.
The people in my life now have been patient with the process of learning
who I am. They have been open to
understanding that what I say, I say out of concern, rather than to just be a
rude jerk. And although the cultural
differences are not always pleasant for anyone who deals with me on a regular
basis, so far, the South prevails in accepting me, flaws and all, into their
lives with open arms.
