As
a society, we tend to spend the majority of our waking hours at work. Americans
have even adopted phrases like “work-wife” and “work-husband” to describe our
co-workers who have become alternatives to our actual families. And with the
holiday season approaching, there are sure to be bigger year-end projects,
longer nights on the job, and, of course, holiday office parties.
As
a mom working in the corporate world, my calendar is already bursting with
holiday fun like ugly sweater parties, cookie-swapping parties, the school
holiday choir concert, pictures with Santa, and holiday bake sales. So you’ll
understand if I’m not exactly thrilled about squeezing an office party into my
schedule.
You
would think that because I have been working from home for quite a few years
now, I would have successfully dodged the torturous bullet of office functions.
Nope. I’m not that lucky. The hubs has already received a heads up about his
company’s’ holiday dinner. And now, all we need is a tactful but firm way of
saying “absolutely not.”
Before
raising your pitch forks, you’ll be happy to know that we made an appearance at
last year’s gala. But it is my opinion that if your office holds a corporate
event at a buffet-style restaurant with the word “corral” in it, you should
automatically be excused from all extracurricular work activities…forever. Of
course, not everyone shares this view, which is why, this year, crafting the
perfect holiday excuse was our first priority.
Though
I have been blessed with a husband who prefers a cordial RSVP, politely
declining an invitation has become a challenge. Admittedly, if it were up to
me, I would just say no. I mean, why do people always feel the need to follow a
“no” with a justification of the “no”?
I’ll
tell you why. Because nowadays, if you don’t give a reason, people are nosey
enough to ask for one. And some bosses are so dedicated to your attendance,
they even come up with solutions to your elaborate excuses.
Example
#1: Have Granny’s 70th birthday to attend? That’s okay! You can
just come to the office party for a little while! (Disclaimer: This one
can backfire, as my husband’s boss once refused to give him his holiday bonus
for leaving the party early.)
Example
#2: Have concert/game tickets on the same night? Worry not! Stop in for a quick
bite to eat before the event! Those things never start on time anyway!
Example
#3: Having oral surgery the morning of the party? No problem! We love seeing
your face, no matter how swollen!
Some
of you may be asking, “Why not tell the truth?”
We
tried.
When
my husband attempted to respectfully decline this year’s shindig by
straightforwardly saying, “I would really like to spend that time with my wife
and kids,” his employer’s rebuttal was, “Well…bring them”!
I
know what you’re thinking. This is a generous offer. But think about it.
Bringing your spouse to a work soiree, where she gets to spend a night with
your acquaintances making small talk, all while smiling with clenched teeth,
quietly scolding your bored and uncomfortably dressed kids who are naturally
misbehaving, is not a good idea. As all parents know, bored kids at a function
that really should be “adults only” is not beneficial to anyone involved.
As
you can see, finding ways to avoid a holiday office bash can become a full-time
job. And I’m sure there are plenty of people who truly love the networking
opportunities, free booze, and drunken karaoke duets that come along with an
office party. And that’s fine. Really.
But
during the holidays, when the majority of us are feeling overwhelmingly
stretched too thin, I think it’s important to spend our free time AWAY from
work, with the people who calm our hearts.
Even
though your boss may feel slighted if you successfully find a way to escape the
annual celebration, try not to feel bad too bad about it. Obligation should
never play a role in determining how you spend your time. So, go ahead and
enjoy this holiday season your way. No excuses.
