The morning after. No less than twenty-three posts on social
media all asking the same question.
What will I tell my children?
My mind raced with thoughts of inadequacy. Oh no! Did I miss
something? Was I supposed to prepare a speech for my kids about the results of
the election?
Once I had my coffee and the fog lifted from my brain, I realized
that I don’t have to “tell” them anything. Because, when it comes to politics,
I choose not to force my beliefs onto my girls.
Don’t get me wrong. Watching my friends post pictures of
their children at the polls, wearing Hillary or Trump paraphernalia was
adorable! I started thinking that maybe the elections are becoming similar to
team sports. If you were raised a Yankees fan, you’re always a Yankees fan. It
doesn’t matter if you don’t really understand why you’re a Yankees fan. But if your parents think the Yankees are
the way to go, then that’s the way it should be, right? This line of thinking
had me wondering if I had parenting all wrong.
But then I came back to this - there is a difference between
giving your children your opinion and giving your children a pathway to obtain
information so that they can form their own. And as difficult as it is
sometimes, I always try to go with the latter.
Did my girls want to know who I was going to vote for throughout
the entire campaign season? Absolutely! And maybe I was in a unique position
because I truly had no idea. So, when I told them I was unsure, it was the
truth.
But my “I don’t know” answer led to further discussions
about how to make a decision, which led to discussions about researching all candidates, and selecting someone
who holds beliefs that are close to our own.
Researching candidates didn’t come willingly for my eleven
and nine year old daughters. But with a quick Google search, we were able to
find a political topic that my kids actually could relate to- Common Core. Now,
as a parent, I think Common Core is a disaster. But when talking to my girls
about it, they were both indifferent. It’s just something they are learning in
school and neither of them had any complaints. So, while I may not understand
Common Core, just like my mom probably didn’t understand calculus, I learned
that my girls have a different outlook than I do on one of the issues being
discussed on the campaign trail this year. So, based solely on this issue, my
girls and I would have voted for two completely different candidates.
This simple conversation with my girls opened my mind in an
important way. Not to point out the obvious here, but kids are impressionable. I
do realize that as parents, we have no choice but to make certain decisions for
our children. But we also have the job of empowering our kids to be confident enough
to have an opinion that is different from ours, or anyone else’s, for that
matter.
We should have a nation of children who are interested in
finding out for themselves why they support something, rather than a nation of
children who support something just because mommy and daddy feel a certain way.
As parents, it’s time we acknowledge that our children have their own thoughts
and may not always be on our side of the fence. It’s time we give our kids the
tools to be independent thinkers.
So, if you’re still wondering what to tell your children
about the election results, I completely understand your desire to tell them of
your disappointment about the winner. I completely get it if you accidentally frighten
them with your very real concerns about America’s future. But try to remember
that, unless your child did their own research, picked their own candidate, and
truly understand what happened this morning, your feelings of disappointment do
not belong to them.
Instead, tell them that no matter what happens in life, no
matter what setbacks they may face, their
opinions, no matter how different, are valid. Tell your children that their voices matter…now, more than ever.
