People come and go in our lives, and that is to be expected.
However, there are certain individuals who hang on with a steel grip, studying
our moves, hoping that we fail. They thrive by laughing at our setbacks, while
getting some sick internal pleasure from watching us struggle. These people are
known to many as haters. I call them assholes, but “to-may-to”, “to-mah-to”,
right?
Booting haters out of our lives should be the simple
resolution. However, some haters are discreet and keep their ill-intended desires
a secret. Clandestine stalking becomes their favorite pastime. So if your life
is on display, you should expect that they will be paying close attention.
Should this bother you? Being that stalking is illegal in
all fifty states, I would say yes. However, the internet has changed the rules,
so using the “unfriend” or “block” buttons for any unwelcome negativity in your
social media world may only act as a band-aid. What you need to realize is that
the bigger picture has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with you.
In my opinion, one major mistake is to triumphantly declare,
“I’m going to prove you all wrong” or “Look at me now, haters”. The problem
with these statements is that you are giving your haters credit for your
motivation. The last thing these people need are ego boosts or opportunities to
acknowledge their roles in your success. So, if you have a goal, go for it! But
don’t let your accomplishments be overshadowed by your haters. A friend
recently shared a valuable piece of knowledge with me, which is that these
people are miserable and bitter, so even if you succeed and shout from the rooftops,
“IN YOUR FACE”, they will certainly find something or someone new to hate on,
and their cycle will continue.
From experience, I can tell you
that even if the cyberstalking doesn’t end, haters can be silenced in your
mind. In my case, I learned to sympathize with the assholes of the world. I
tried to imagine coping with that intense inner turmoil day in and day out. It
must be exhausting. I also remembered that these people have always been in the
background of my life. Paying attention to them only put them in the forefront,
a place where they clearly did not deserve to be. And lastly, I realized that I
genuinely like who I am, and no one can ever take that away from me.
The reality is that your decisions
may not have happy endings, and you may fall short when attempting to achieve a
goal. And the haters will be attentively waiting for these moments. However,
your reaction is also your decision. Responding to someone who doesn’t have your
best interests at heart can possibly result in empty accomplishments. Instead,
choose to ignore the chatter and negativity so that you can focus on your own
successes and learn from your disappointments. Set goals, not to prove who you
are to some random asshole, but to make your life experience superior to what you ever thought it could be. The right
people will find you and will eventually drown out the ones who never should
have mattered in the first place.
