Love is Art

After last week’s Naughty Mommy blog, it seems as though my readers are more intrigued by the topic of sex than I gave you all credit for.  So in keeping with that theme, I thought I’d share something my husband and I tried a few years ago. 

As you probably guessed, I am always on the lookout for unique experiences to bring into our bedroom.  For me, buying another “been there, done that” outfit from Fredericks of Hollywood is a bit boring. So, when I came across the Love is Art kit from Uncommon Goods, I excitedly placed my order.

When the kit arrived, it came neatly packaged in a tube, which contained a 54” x 41” canvas, plastic drop cloth, non-toxic paint, body scrubbers and disposable slippers.  (As silly as the slippers sound, they were much appreciated when our paint covered bodies had to slink from the canvas to the shower.)

For roughly the same price as a dinner for two, you can instead buy this kit and spend time with your partner romping around on a canvas, making love and art at the same time.  All you need is paint and passion.  

From our experience, I would recommend pouring some paint both on the canvas and on your bodies, as this covers more area.  But once the canvas is out and the paint is on, your only job is to simply go at it.

Just some quick notes:

• The paint is a bit cold, but it’s nothing the heat between you and your partner can’t fix.  
• The paint dries quickly, so I would say that a drawn out seduction scene is probably not meant for this product.
• The paint easily washes off with soap and water.
• This is a FUN experience.  If you are one of those people who, in the back of your mind, is going to worry about paint getting on your furniture, you are NOT going to appreciate this.  So, just let go and enjoy!

As for the cost, there is a choice between the regular kit ($60), which comes with either red or black paint, or the custom kit ($70), which gives you four paint colors of your choice.  There is also a canvas stretcher kit available for an extra $36, but my husband and I were able to suffice without it.

The finished product is now hanging in our bedroom.  It is fun to look at our canvas with the secret (or not so secret anymore) knowledge of how it was created.  So, if you are looking for a unique way to spice up your life in the bedroom, I strongly recommend giving this fun activity kit a try. 

The Love is Art kit can be found at uncommongoods.com

Naughty Mommy

What do you think of when you hear the word “naughty”? If you are like most moms, I would bet your interpretation ranges somewhere between a raunchy French Maid-esque lingerie ensemble to a surprise birthday blow job for your husband. 

But if you are a mom like me, your definition of naughty may take on a unique life of its own. Now, I’m not knocking lingerie and blow jobs.  Any attempt at straying from your norm is always a fun surprise.  It’s just that my norm is probably not the same as that of any of my friends. Despite working a full time job, having a family, a blog to maintain, an affinity for running, and many other commonalities that come along with the daily life of a woman, my sexual swagger has actually gotten more intense over the years. And I am basking in the glow of it.

One year, after securing a sitter for an entire night, I planned a surprise for my husband’s birthday. If extreme sex were a sport, this surprise would have fit right into that category. The day began with a sweet drive to a remote town extremely far from where we live. We enjoyed a nice dinner, romped around in a posh hotel overlooking the ocean, and then attended a party at the hottest sex club in the area. No, that is not a misprint-it is a confession. I, Michele Fallon, mother of two beautiful little girls, ages ten and eight, took my husband to a club where people walk around naked all night long and have every type of sex you can possibly imagine. And I loved it.

Being that my husband had no idea what the evening plans were, we of course had sex in the hotel prior to our arrival at what I’ll call “Club Sex”. This didn’t present any problems once we got situated in the club later on, but if I had to do it again, I would have avoided the hotel sex. Parties usually begin around 8pm and last anywhere from 3am-7am the next morning, so saving the hard-to-come-by mom energy for the club just makes more sense.

Here’s some more info-the dress code at the club gave us two options: A) Fancy clothes (dresses for women and dress pants and shoes for men) or B) attire that goes along with the night’s theme, which in our case, just so happened to be “french maid”. Looking back on it, I wonder what the men were supposed to wear if they opted for themed attire.  I don’t remember seeing any men in french maid outfits or holding feather dusters, but I’ll have to keep a closer watch on that next time.

Prior to arriving, there were very specific rules that needed to be learned, respected and followed.  There were a lot of them to remember. Despite what you might be thinking, this place was extremely classy and very protective of its guests. The goal of the club seemed to be focused on ensuring that everyone’s experience was comfortable, and here’s a spoiler-Club Sex succeeded in that regard. After freaking out about being too old to remember the overabundance of club rules, I was able to relax when I realized that most of them were common sense.

Upon entering, there was a small room where we paid the membership fee, got our bracelets and registered for the night. The fact that I now had a membership card in my wallet that did not belong to a local grocery store was thrilling.  I could have called it a night right there. But we pressed on.

There was no indication that this was a sex club as we entered through the main door. Drawing back the curtain only revealed a typical dancefloor, DJ, bar, food buffet, tables and couches. Because there was nothing out of the ordinary, a slight panic set in as I wondered if we were going to be stuck in a club environment listening to throbbing house music all night long without engaging in any sexual activity whatsoever. I looked around for a souvenir shop that might have sold “My lover went to Club Sex and all I got was a headache and this lousy t-shirt” paraphernalia. And if I was questioning this entire idea, you can probably imagine what my poor husband was thinking.

After getting our drinks at the bar, he was the first one to speak asking, “So what happens now?” My memory is naturally always a little fuzzy, but it was at that very moment that I wished I would have retained more details about the club rules. Without the rule book to throw out the proverbial window, and being completely unaware of the approved logistics of sexual activity in this particular part of the club, I livened up the party by dropping to my knees, unzipping his pants, and getting to work. It was a short lived minute. My fear of getting kicked out took precedence over my bold blow job move. But as I stood up, there were no bouncers waiting to escort me out. There were just people talking, laughing, drinking and dancing…with clothes on. But no one paid any attention to us at all.  No judgement, no disgust, not even a stare. 

This gave me confidence, but not enough to try it again. At this point, we were both confused and wondering where the sex was. Where were the dirty mattresses and the crazy orgies? Where were the women dressed like hookers? Where were the French maids…or butlers…or whatever it was that the men were supposed to come dressed as? Other than my quickie blow job test, no one else was conducting anything other than dancing. So, I finally swallowed my embarrassment with a big gulp of wine and asked one of the employees if we were in the right place. He said that I absolutely was, but that it was very early and most of the action I was looking for occurred in the back rooms later on.  Breathing a sigh of relief, I went back to my husband’s table and told him the good news. With that, we were able to have a drink, relax, and watch the party unfold before our eyes.

As the hour ended and the next began, the dance floor became much more crowded. At 9pm, there were couples modestly grinding to the beat.  By 10pm, women were half naked dancing with their partners or other partners, getting groped or kissed and enjoying every minute. My husband and I joined the party-goers on the dance floor and had our share of heavy petting and making out. But that got old pretty quickly, as the true reason we were there was to see what was behind door number two, so off we went. 

After stripping down and stashing all of our belongings into lockers, we entered our first play room. We were mesmerized by all of the beautiful people in the same room just loving on each other. It didn’t take long to drop our towels and get in on the action. I know this sounds very strange to most moms reading this right now, but I have to say that the environment was warm, loving and respectful. Every choice made in that room belonged to each couple. There were no expectations and no disappointments. It was surprisingly refreshing, and honestly, the only time in my entire life where I felt confident that I wasn’t being judged at all. And the kicker-I WAS 100% NAKED!

The night ended in the morning on a couch, with us eating breakfast still naked, still enjoying the insane amount of sex we had and witnessed all night long. For those of you wondering whether or not this occurs on a regular basis, the answer is no. However, after that night, lingerie and blow jobs will never fall into the “naughty” category in our house. We are still sexually adventurous, and we still make sex a priority in our marriage-not because we are obligated, but because it is something we both truly enjoy.

Just because I am a mom doesn’t mean I have to give up on something that is pretty damn great. I’m not just talking about sex, but of the spontaneity of sex and the surprises that it can still hold when other possibilities present themselves.

The excuses that come with motherhood shouldn’t stop you from experimenting and finding something, no matter how risqué, that can make you feel great. To all of the moms out there who think I’m nuts or gross or inappropriate, I dare you all to tap into your sexual freakdom and not have it change you for the better. I dare you to offer yourself the permission to give new meaning to your perception of the word “naughty.”

*This piece was published on BLUNTmoms on April 5, 2016.

Keep and Share Calendar

I’m a mom…who works...who writes…who cooks…who cleans…who sings in an acoustic duo…who reads about thirty-five books per year…who has to make time for everything in between.

You get the picture.  I’m busy.  And I will bet that your plate is just as full (so thank you for taking a few minutes out of your day to read this).

For busy bees like us, it is essential to keep our days somewhat structured, right? But what is the best way to do that?  For me, it’s using an efficient online calendar. I know, I know. This is not earth-shattering news, nor am I reinventing the wheel.  But when I find something that works for me, I like to share it.  Enter KeepandShare.com.

With a multitude of online calendars to choose from, it took me quite a bit of time to find the one that best tames the circus that is my life.  The feature that sealed the deal for me is the free-form writing that is available for every calendar date.

Maybe it’s the writer in me, but I’m not a fan of calendars that make you choose a time to set up a meeting/appointment (but Keep and Share also offers this type of set up if needed).  Outside of my full-time job, my life doesn’t run that way. I don’t hold meetings with my kids.  I don’t make appointments to visit the grocery store.  Keep and Share has enabled me to sort out my day at my own pace. As a mom, having a calendar that simply allows me to write my to-do list without those annoying meeting reminders is valuable for both my organizational management and my sanity.

 Another great feature is that Keep and Share makes it simple to share your calendar with others who have Keep and Share accounts.  Need your husband to get some milk after work?  Add it to your family calendar where you both have access to the tasks that need to be completed for the day!  Need a document ready for work?  Add it to your work calendar so your colleagues can see it!  You can even share the document with your team in the "Files" section!

In addition to my favorite features, Keep and Share calendars can be imported or exported, and are also available on your smartphones with the Keep and Share app.  And as far as costs go, there are several paid calendar options to choose from, but I opted for the Keep and Share free package, which allows up to 5 separate calendars and 500 calendar entries. This is more than enough, even for this busy mom!

Keepandshare.com is the secret weapon I use to make juggling life look easy.  So, go ahead and give it a try!  

Should We Carve Out Some Time For Debbie Downer, Gloomy Gus and Negative Nancy?

With New Year’s goals finding their way into our already full agendas, time is more critical than ever. We have our game faces on-feeling positive, confident, and indestructible. That is, until we run into our friends Debbie Downer, Gloomy Gus and Negative Nancy.

For those who don’t know who they are, Debbie, Gus and Nancy are the fictitious pseudonyms for those people in your life who thrive on negativity, play the victim in every possible situation, and tell their sad stories over and over again to whomever is willing to listen. Sometimes, they even thwart your plans by telling you about a guy who knew a guy who had a disastrous outcome in a situation similar to the one you are about to embark on.

Are you starting to recognize these people now? If not, a good way to spot them is to ask the mundane yet polite question, “How are you?”

Let’s be honest. When people ask this question, they are expecting a quick, “Everything’s great” so that they can go about their day. But a Debbie, Gus or Nancy will never let this opportunity pass. They will instead stop you in your tracks and make you listen to a ten-minute saga about why their morning/ex-husband from five years ago/dead goldfish from 1978 was plaguing them. When dealing with these people, I learned the hard way that giving them too much attention will validate the way they are feeling and ultimately suck you into their toxic bubble. Instead of becoming an ally who will support their pessimism, I learned that a simple wave hello is more sensible.

In addition, because social media has shown no signs of slowing down, thousands of people like Debbie, Gus and Nancy have been unveiled. Scrolling down a Facebook timeline can reveal quite a bit about someone’s personality. You can tell who is upbeat, fun, adventurous, crafty, narcissistic, angry, bitter, or just sad.

I understand that we all go through an array of emotions throughout our lives, and having a few bad days that we take out on our personal Facebook community can be somewhat cathartic. However, Debbie, Gus and Nancy have patterns that never stray too far away from the negative. Even though some of my former Facebook friends were nice and didn’t wrong me in any way, seeing how dreary their days were going on a daily basis started to affect my day. So, when it comes time to evaluate who I want to see in my newsfeed, those who can’t find a small ray of sunshine, even once in a while, are the ones who generally get the axe.

So, am I right in throwing a joyous mental goodbye party for these people after dismissing them from my life? Although it always feels right to me, maybe I’m too quick to unfriend. Like watching a soap opera, maybe hearing someone else’s drama can make me feel better about my own. Or maybe their rain will give me a better idea of how to plan my parade. Maybe we all need a force that keeps us grounded when we are trying to fly.\

OR…maybe we don’t.

When the majority of the minutes in my day are set aside for tasks like working, cooking or cleaning, the time that is left over becomes considerably important. Sharing even one of those minutes with Debbie, Gus or Nancy seems…well…depressing. Though I don’t live a shiny, happy life every moment of the day, I am pleased with where I am and who is here with me. Therefore, Debbie, Gus and Nancy will have to understand that my time is too valuable to be stuck in the past or to pine over the negative results of situations that have not yet occurred. Rather, I choose to reserve my minutes for those who make my life lighter and for those who simply hand me an umbrella when the forecast calls for rain.

*This piece was published on Sammiches and Psych Meds on March 17, 2016.

When Your Signature Scent Dies

I remember the first time I read about Stella McCartney Body Milk. While leisurely browsing through my favorite Lucky magazine, I came across a “blink-and-you’ll-miss-it” article directed towards people like me, who prefer body lotion to perfume. Apparently, we are a small tribe, as suggested by the multitude of perfume ads in the magazine.

Because I am a lotion gal, always favoring a light breeze of a scent rather than a thick perfume cloud, my choices have been limited. So, when the article touted that Stella’s Body Milk was light, yet lasted throughout the entire day, I couldn’t wait to try it. Having faith in my trusted Lucky beauty editor, I determinedly headed off to Sephora and made my purchase. Once home, I felt like a child on Christmas morning as I opened the pristine white box. Within a few seconds of applying the creamy body milk, I was in love.

I decided to give Stella her test run at a family function, because I can always count on my family to tell me if I reek. Surprisingly, Stella passed the family test and I was ready to try her out in the real world. Depending on my mood, where I was going or who I was seeing, I would experiment with different lotions, but every time I chose Stella, I received numerous compliments. After a few weeks, it was a done deal. Stella was my signature scent.

I’m not sure if any of you are like me, but once I found my signature scent, I tried my hardest to keep it a secret. Consistently evading the, “You smell so good.  What perfume is that?” question became somewhat of a sport. Knowing what I know now, I doubt that I would have been so clandestine, as I’ve learning that popularity is what keeps a scent on the shelves. And my friends, Stella has left the building.

Though I doubt I was her only buyer, Stella McCartney Body Milk didn’t pick up as much steam as her Stella perfume counterpart did, so now it sleeps with the fishes. While she sells a body lotion with some of the same notes as her old body milk, something is amiss in the scent department. As a result, I am stuck with two options, both of which I have attempted, somewhat successfully.

Option A-Buy it on Ebay.

Ebay still sells my Stella body milk, but it’s extremely rare and triple the price I used to pay. Sometimes, I can’t help but to splurge. But most of the time, I look at the old white bottle on my laptop’s screen and daydream about the days of wandering into Sephora to get my fix. 

Option B-Set sail on a new scent adventure.

I am loyal to my scent, and after years of trying to find it, the idea of gathering the energy to unearth a new one is daunting. Perfumed lotions are just not as popular as perfume, so I will always run the risk of lotion extinction. 

In addition, I’ve found that when shopping for a new fragrance, I can only handle so much before my nose tricks my brain into thinking that everything smells exactly the same. Sephora simply can’t offer enough coffee beans to alleviate the “I’ve-smelled-too-many-perfumes-within-the-last-ten-minutes” dilemma. Not to mention, when picking a scent, I like to let some time pass before making the purchase.  What if it smells great initially, but then a few hours later, I find that it doesn’t mix well with my body chemistry?

Despite the obstacles, I am happy to say that I have found a replacement that competes bravely with my beloved Stella. And this time, I am going to shout it from the rooftops to avoid an untimely lotion death.

So, to my tribe of lotion gals, you might want to stock up on my new “secret” scent - Elie Saab Le Parfum Scented Body Lotion. I promise you, it was worth the hunt.

The New Type of "Party"

I just so happen to have gone to a university that almost always makes an appearance on the yearly Top Ten Party School list. So, you can imagine my confusion about the fact that I have been invited to more parties in the last few years than I was in my entire college career. 

Now, let me start by saying that I am not really a social butterfly. So, you might be confused by my adulthood popularity. Let me put your confusion to rest. The parties that I have been invited to are not the “keg-stand-dance-until- 4am-wake-up-in-a-frat-house- with-lipstick-smeared-on-your-head” kind of parties. The parties (and I use the word “party” very lightly) I have been invited to are, in my opinion, quite ridiculous. 

Here is a list of just a few of the invites I have received:  Pampered Chef Food Extravaganza, Origami Owl Jewelry Party, Scentsy Candle Party, Princess House Kitchenware Party, Jamberry Nail Party, 3D Eyelash Party and, of course, the “Bad Girl” Sex Toy Party. 

I honestly would love to wave my “you go girl” flag high in support of the women who host these parties. But the truth is that, for countless reasons, I despise everything that goes along with this type of get together. First and foremost, I am introvert, hear me roar! The last thing on Earth I would ever want to be is stuck in a room full of unfamiliar women talking about a product I simply don’t give a shit about.

Secondly, when did a woman’s idea of a “party” turn into having friends and family sit in her home for a demonstration which will reveal something that each and every person in that room will feel obligated to buy? Not to mention, since most of these items are almost always severely overpriced, do these hosts really feel good about guilting people they care about into buying something they can probably get on Amazon for half the price? In my opinion, these “parties” are better suited for enemies, rather than friends.

Which brings me to my final point- the word “party” should be given some respect. I realize that I’m an adult now, and keg stands are no longer to be expected at any event that requires an RSVP. However, if you really wanted to host a “party”, can’t it be done without hinting to your guests that they should bring their credit cards? In case it has been forgotten, parties are times of celebration, times to feel unencumbered, to relax and let your guard down. Parties are not the time to worry if you will bounce a check for buying an ugly fifty dollar candle so your acquaintance (aka party host) won’t unfriend you on Facebook. 

With that said, if you still feel the absolute need to convert the personal gesture of a party invite into a business transaction, please don’t be offended when I try to inject a little bit of fun into your party by bringing my own beer pong table and announcing that the loser has to buy something from your catalog. You see, a small bit of the party girl in me still exists. And she doesn’t need Tupperware to have a good time.

*This piece was published on BLUNTmoms on February 10, 2016.

The Five People You Meet At Disney World

Last week, my daughter’s third grade class went to Disney’s Animal Kingdom, and I was lucky enough to tag along. The childlike excitement fluttering in my heart upon walking into the park, even as an adult who has been to Disney numerous times, is still magical for me.

But alas, there are some occurrences that even Disney cannot control. You see, once inside those beautiful gates, some of the magic may be zapped out of your experience by incidents that have nothing to do with Disney, and everything to do with the people who are joining you on your park adventure.

So, without further ado, I give you the five people you will meet in Disney.

1. The “stop-walking-in-the-midst-of-a-crowd” people (SWMCP): Unfortunately, SWMCPs are an abundant population in Disney who unknowingly cause twenty people pile ups when they abruptly stop walking to do something mundane like look at a map or tie their shoes. There is no avoiding them, so if you don’t have quick reflexes, you can either opt to get angry or just keep swimming.  *If you happen to be one of these people, and you just have to stop to have a discussion with your toddler, find something in your purse, or take your nineteenth selfie of the day, don’t be surprised if I nudge you over to the side where you belong.  
2. The “incessant-picture-taker” people (IPTP): In addition to constant selfies in popular parts of the park, IPTPs take it one step further.  You know that long ass line for the women’s restroom?  Well, it just got longer because the IPTPs want to document their trip by snapping pics of themselves making duck faces into the mirrors in the Disney bathrooms. You know that table you’ve been waiting an hour for at the Rainforest Café in Disney Springs?  Well, you’ll need to wait ten minutes more because the IPTPs have asked the waiter to take a picture of their group…for the fifth time.  Just like the SWMCPs, there is no avoiding them.  *If you are one of these people, we get it.  You went to Disney.  But next time, could you try putting your camera away when my daughter is doing the pee-pee dance behind you? 
3. The “taking-way-too-long-to-take-pictures” people (TWTLP):  Taking pictures is naturally something that will happen nonstop in a Disney park.  However, the TWTLPs not only take an absurd amount of photos, but they also take their sweet time when actually taking the picture.  With TWTLPs, you can try your best to skirt around them or if you’re really patient, you can wait it out. *Just a note of caution to the TWTLPs that may come across my family at a Disney park- if you can’t get your shit together and take the damn picture before the sun goes down, expect my big fat head in the upper corner of your shot.  My daughters and I have become photobomb masters. You have been warned.
4. The “take-up-the-entire-pathway” people (TEPP): Somehow, in Disney, it is possible for a family of four to block an entire roadway. We understand that everyone is in awe of the artistry that goes into these parks, and it is sometimes hard to keep a family together.  But unless Mickey is personally giving you and your family a piggyback ride straight past the TEPPs, it is no easy task to maneuver in or around their family structure. This especially goes for families traveling with multiple strollers.  Now, I know what it’s like to travel with a stroller, and those Disney strollers are enormous and hard to operate.  But for the love of God, share the road, people!
5. “Non-smiley” people (NSP): One would think that there would be an abundance of joy emanating from the faces of those in attendance at the happiest place on Earth.  This is oddly not the case.  Other than Disney employees, smiles are hard to come by in Disney parks.  A friend of mine once challenged me to a game of “count-how-many-people-are-smiling” while we strolled around the parks.  Instead of smiles, we came across toddlers shrieking, moms yelling, older kids completely frustrated or distracted by their phones, and Dads probably wishing they knew the score of whatever game they were missing in order to give their families a spectacular Disney vacation. Regardless, don’t let the NSPs drag you down!  Be unique and trust that a simple smile is all that it takes to refocus your energy on the fun that lies ahead.

By now, we’ve learned how astonishing it is to witness just how quickly people lose all consideration for every other human being the moment they walk into a park.  But the moral of the story is to try not to blame Disney for the momentary lapses in judgement that the people in their parks frequently exhibit.  Disney is amazingly beautiful in every way possible.  And maybe that beauty causes people, who otherwise would be able to think clearly, to replace their normal thought process with the same helium that fills those adorable Mickey ear balloons that line Main Street, USA.

Despite my encounters with all five of the people everyone meets in Disney, I’ve found that focusing on my family, on our smiles, and on the marvels that each park has to offer always helps me remember why I chose to visit Disney in the first place. 

What’s Yarn Got To Do With It?

Years ago, I remember watching my friend Rana crochet with both a speed and ease that was nothing short of inspiring (you can see her work here).  So, when she offered to teach me, I jumped at the chance to learn.  Once I got the hang of it, I began making scarves, mainly because they were quick, easy and I got to use the delicate yarn.  I sold them for twenty dollars, which means I wasn’t making any money, but seeing people wearing my velvety soft creations made me happy.  

Then, of course, life got in the way, and my crocheting days were put on hold…up until recently. In choosing hobbies, I naturally gravitate towards relaxation. Writing, running and reading all give that to me in some form.  I just remembered that crocheting used to give me that same type of tranquility, so I decided to come out of retirement.

About a month ago, I went on my first “back in the game” yarn shopping spree at Michaels. After beelining to the yarn section, I found some old friends there like Red Heart and Caron, but my eyes shifted immediately to a brand I wasn’t familiar with-Bernat. The moment I saw it, I wanted to nuzzle up against it.  When yarn looks that cozy from far away, it rarely disappoints when you’re up close and personal. I decided instantly that four brown skeins were coming home with me. 

There were a few problems I didn’t foresee when I was in the store.  The first is that I hadn’t crocheted a blanket in over ten years.  Naturally being an ambitious person, I got to work as soon as I got home, and roughly 400 chains later (and maybe a slight death wish), I was on my way to making a king size blanket. I secretly cross my fingers on a daily basis in the hopes that Michaels will have enough stock of Bernat's Sonoma to see my blanket through to the finish. The plus side to this is that because I am relearning, at least all of the mistakes will be on one blanket, rather than on twenty.

Another problem, which may be debatable, is that the “good” yarn is always a bit harder to work with than the less expensive material.  Even with a quarter of my insanely large blanket completed, there are still days where I sit cursing at the yarn, blaming its beautiful lushness each time my hook gets snagged. When my frustration roars its ugly head, I consider going back to Michaels for a more novice-friendly yarn.  However, I always wind up convincing myself that even if I were the best crocheter in the land, I would still have issues with better quality yarn, so I stick with what I have and press on.

In the short amount of time that I’ve been back at it, I’ve learned that whether it’s the “yarn’s fault” or just the more likely fact that I have a foggy memory when it comes to crocheting, the reality is that I am addicted to pretty yarn. And regardless of how hard it may be for me to work with, I will always surrender to its beauty.

*Don’t forget to take a look and place your order for one of Rana’s beautiful personalized blankets here! 

Gatlinburg, Tennessee Travel with Children

2015, the year of the mini-vacation, is officially over.  Although I was skeptical about replacing one long vacation with three shorter ones, I was pleasantly surprised at how well it all turned out.  My girls are still talking about our first mini trip to Universal Studios and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, as well as our mid-year mini break and once in a lifetime chance of being up close and personal with manatees in Crystal River.  Two weeks ago, we spent our final mini holiday in the mountains of Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

Being that we live in Florida, this qualified as a road trip, as it took over ten hours to get there.  Luckily, we are huge fans of Harry Potter, so The Goblet of Fire audio book kept us entertained for most of our journey.  We left early on Sunday morning and arrived at out hotel, the Bearskin Lodge, around dinnertime.  Our Florida blood turned to ice the moment we stepped out of the car into the forty degree temperature.  However, once in the lodge, we were greeted with the hotel’s cozy, rustic feel, complete with fireplace, rocking chairs and complimentary warm apple cider and cookies.  This hotel was the next best thing to renting our own log cabin in the mountains.

After check-in, we went up to our room on the 5^th floor.  We had an executive queen stream-view room, which had two queen beds, a balcony with a beautiful view of the mountains and the stream below, a working fireplace, and a whirlpool.

After ten hours in the car, this was heaven. Normally, we try out the beds first, but the fireplace was much more alluring.  Unfortunately, the fireplace was closed off, so we were unable to snack on the s’mores I had packed.  However, the lobby fireplace is open, as is the fire pit near the pool, so there is plenty of opportunity for s’mores indulgence.

After exploring our room, we decided to go to dinner.  Because of the cold, everyone voted in favor of eating somewhere close to the hotel.  The Bearskin Lodge is in a quiet location behind the main drag called the Parkway, but we only had a three minute walk before we found Luigi’s Pizza, which we quickly darted into to avoid the chill.  As we entered, a warm fireplace greeted us.  There were only a few patrons and we had our choice of seating. We chose a spot in the back, away from the door.  The menu consisted of standard pizzeria fare, so we selected a pizza pie, mozzarella sticks and garlic knots.  The pizza sauce was incredibly sweet, and really did not make for a great tasting pizza.  However, the cheese sticks and the knots were so scrumptious that I wished I had ordered another round of each.  Overall, the atmosphere and the appetizers were enough to keep us happy.

After dinner, I saw that the Ober mall was right in front of us, so before heading back to the hotel, I decided to buy snow tubing tickets.  Note to travelers-you cannot buy tickets online.  You have to do it the old school way and physically show up to buy tickets.  To make matters worse, you can only buy tickets up to three days in advance, which might have been an issue for us because we were only staying for four days. Because snow tubing is super cool and sells out fast, my recommendation when arriving in Gatlinburg is to get your tickets before doing anything else, even before checking into your hotel.  Fortunately, all but one slot was sold out when we got there, so I paid $106 for the three of us to go snow tubing from 5-6:30pm on our last night in Gatlinburg.

When we woke the next morning, we opted for the breakfast that I had packed for the trip, rather than going out to eat.  Once finished, we hung out on our balcony and enjoyed our view of the mountains.  Around 9:30am, we made our way to the Parkway, which was filled with restaurants, souvenir shops, old-time photo shops and various family friendly activities, including an assortment of Ripley’s owned tourist traps. So naturally, we decided on Ripley’s Believe It or Not as our first stop of the morning. We’ve been to the Ripley’s in Orlando, and my girls really loved it, so they knew what to expect when entering.  This one had some of the exact same things as the Orlando Ripley’s, so the girls had a decent amount of fun, but weren’t all that impressed.

Next, we ventured off to the Ripley’s 5D Moving Theater.  On the way there, we stopped at a shooting gallery and tried our luck at shooting targets in hopes that our aim would get some mechanical objects to move.  For $2, we had a great time and did pretty well.

A few minutes later, we arrived at the Ripley’s theater, and handed the cashier our ticket, which included two movies, Roadhoggers and Winter Wipeout.  The movies are roller coaster-esque and your seat moves pretty violently, so make sure you and your children are strapped in!  The movies were adorable.  We especially loved the Winter Wipeout because there was artificial snow falling from the ceiling as we virtually joined the snowmen on their snow tubing adventure.  I didn’t keep track of time, but I would guess that each movie was roughly 10-15 minutes long.  We all truly enjoyed this experience and would definitely recommend it for families (my girls are 8 and 11 years old and they had a blast).

After the movie, we did some shopping for our plant shelf item.  For readers who don’t know our tradition, each time we go on vacation, we purchase something from our travels that we can place on our plant shelf at home.  So far, we have items from Paris, New York, South Carolina, Puerto Rico, New Jersey, and now, Tennessee.

We found a cute shop in Elks Plaza called Smoky Mountain Art that carried wood carvings and pottery.  My youngest pointed out a lovely green-blue bowl with Gatlinburg 2015 carved inside.  I thought it was perfect, so we made the purchase.

Afterwards, we headed back to the hotel for some lunch (again packed from home for this trip).  Once we got some of our energy back, we decided to visit Ober.  We took the Aerial Tramway up the mountain, which was worth the $31 ticket price.  The views were breathtaking, and the ride was so much fun!  Even my oldest daughter, who is scared of heights, had a great time traveling up the mountain this way.

Once we got there, we bought tickets for the Wildlife Encounter.  We got to see a black bear, an otter, an eagle, a bobcat and some nocturnal animals.  For the most part, this was an extremely small and limited zoo.  For a total cost of $14, it was worth a look, but all in all, it was more of a sad experience than a lively one.

After our wildlife encounter, we went outside to view the snow tubing and ski areas. Then, we came across an area for smaller children with a large mound of snow called “Cubbies”.

My youngest daughter has never seen snow, so despite our ages, I bought us all tickets for the kiddie area where we immediately pelted each other with snowballs.  I know this sounds terrible, but watching my daughters nailing each other with snowballs was my favorite part of that day.  I am thankful to Ober for reminding me of how much joy can be had during a snowball fight.

Just a note-Ober also offers skiing, an alpine slide, a ski mountain coaster and indoor ice skating.

Once we got down from the mountain, we decided not to be too adventurous with dinner, so we stopped in for some burgers at Five Guys.  Then we strolled around the Parkway some more and came across The Village Shops.  It was such a lovely little shopping cove with a diverse group of shops including a sock store, a candle store, a donut shop and our favorite, the Ole Smoky Candy Kitchen, where we bought some after dinner chocolate treats.  From there, we decided to visit the Guinness Museum.

It was similar to Ripley’s, only more focused on what Guinness is known for, which is odd, record-breaking feats.  There were some areas of interest for all three of us, but like Ripley’s, it fell a little flat.  Being that our day was jam-packed with so many activities, we didn’t really give much thought to rating the events of the day.  The great thing is that we were having fun and making the most out of everything as a family.

On our last full day in Gatlinburg, we went to Ripley’s Aquarium.  So far, Ripley’s wasn’t all that impressive, so my expectations were a bit low.  But as soon as we were through the aquarium’s doors, I knew this was going to be different.    The sheer size of it was surprising, and as soon as we handed over our tickets, the girls’ excitement was hard to contain.  Our first stop was the stingray touch tank.  It was enormous and even has smaller sharks roaming around as well (the staff was very insistent on taking your hands out of the water as soon as a shark appears).  Even though we have all done this once before at Sea World, we kept our hands in the water for a good twenty or thirty minutes, just enjoying the experience.

Once we got our fill of the stingrays, we headed to the shark tank, where we stared at a variety of different sized sharks.

After about ten minutes, we moved on to the rest of the aquarium.  One of the best features of the aquarium were the hands-on exhibits at every turn.

Want a fish manicure?  There are doctor fish waiting to eat your dead skin (it actually tickles).

Want to learn about swarms?  There is an interactive game that allows you to choose which fish you want to learn about and how far apart they swim around each other in the ocean.

Want to touch a horseshoe crab?  No problem.

Want to check out how mice live?  You can crawl through a tunnel and get up close and personal.

Want to see all of the fish in the aquarium tank?  Hop onto the moving platform that takes you through an impressive aquarium tunnel, where all types of ocean creatures literally surround you.

Because we had reserved a penguin encounter for 1pm, we didn’t spend too much time in the public penguin area, but enjoyed the parts we were able to see.

After eating lunch while watching the fish swim by in a huge tank, we headed off to meet Maureen the penguin.  For an extra forty dollars per person, we had 45 minutes to spend with a penguin.  We learned about penguins, got to take a picture (which is included in the fee) and got to touch and pet her.  It was definitely the highlight of the day and well worth every penny!

After the aquarium, we headed back to the hotel to change into warmer clothes and boots for our snow tubing session.  We lined up for our session, received a tube, and waited on the conveyor belt to take us up the mountain.

For me, speeding down an icy hill in a tube ranks highest on the “coolest experiences in Gatlinburg” list!  My older daughter is scared of heights, and my younger daughter expected more of a roller coaster experience, so they weren’t as impressed, so we left our session early.  Although we all had mixed opinions of the snow tubing experience, going down the mountain in the Aerial Tramway for the last time was quite a fun ride.  Because it was dark, the views of the mountain were gone, but the beautiful lights of the city were stunning.

In addition to all of that beauty, the 100 people stuffed into that tramway all started singing Jingle Bells…loudly.  I felt like I was in a musical as the people around me, one by one, randomly burst into song.  While most people probably think that this is the cheesiest way to end our vacation, I couldn’t help but feel the love and the joy protruding from these strangers’ hearts.  And it truly turned what could have been a sour night into a memorable one.

The next morning, we got up early and walked to Crockett’s Breakfast Camp for our last breakfast before we left town.  Crockett’s looks like a log cabin, very similar to our hotel, complete with fireplace and cozy furnishings and menus designed to look like newspapers.

My daughter even had a glass of water brought to her in a mason jar.  While the décor was charming, the food was not as great.  The pancakes were on the dry, yet sweet tasting side (without syrup).  My daughters also were not thrilled with their choices of waffles and eggs.  Though they made a yummy version of a cinnamon bun, I’m sorry to say that I probably would not recommend Crockett’s.

Well folks, that wraps up our last trip of the year.  This year, we will be replacing the mini-vacation concept with a two week trip to Ireland (and my girls’ first trip outside of our country)!  I look forward to giving you all the details of our trip, so stay tuned! Thank you so much for reading!